Say Everything Unsaid

Say now, please,
everything you wish you had

Or if not that - what you will wish to have said
.

Every day some part of me dies
Dust to the wind of past

And it dies yearning having waited far too long for your kind embrace

Having waited far too long for your loving words

For your warm touch
.

It dies missing you
And only that the you it ever got to know
.
That you you hide in the cellar of your soul

The one who never feels the sun

Ugly with the hate you feed it, the love you starve it from

.

This is what I’ll miss
I see you petrified by fear, and shame, and guilt
Frozen, and frozen that your frozen, hating that you’re frozen and frozen in that hate
like you’ve seen your own shadow, your own head of snakes
stuck
.
I know every smile and laugh, every kindness, every warm hand, and heart, and meal

Was carried from this place

Through every agony and heartbreak

Through broken glass and shattered dreams
Joy is the precious flower on the side of the mountain that almost killed you,
Stolen for a moment to be put in a vase, only to be turned back to dust, back to the wind, back to the mountain to grow again
.
Show me where it comes from so that we can be together
So that we can do the hard work together of building a life

Of building a love
So that we can share stories that make sense of it all
And a little fire light, and a little warmth, to keep us through these long and lonely nights
.
You said you aren’t sure what you can say,
Say it now before I die, say it to my face and not my gravestone
Say everything you never would and never could

Say everything unsaid

And let us sit in the thick truth of it all
.

Say everything unsaid